One month has passed since the nurses placed your tiny little body in my arms. It seems like it went by so quickly but at the same time so much has changed since you have arrived. In the past month I’ve changed hundreds of diapers. I’ve learned how to decipher between your “I’m hungry” grunts and “I’m gonna poo soon” grunts. I’ve learned how to live on very little sleep. Everyday I learn a little bit more about how to be your mother. Nobody could have told me how amazing it would be. I still can’t even describe it myself. And everyday just keeps getting better. You are becoming more aware of the things around you, and more aware of me. You stare into my eyes for minutes at a time. You seem to be studying me just as I study you. What’s even more amazing than the fact that you’re mine, that the energy and nutrients in my body nurtured and grew you, is the fact that I’m yours. I’m your mommy, and I think you’re starting to realize that.
In the past month I’ve learned a lot about what you like and don’t like. When it’s time for a nap, you just have to be swaddled. When you’re tired you get fussy and start flailing your little hands and feet but the second you’re swaddled you settle down and drift to sleep. Sometimes when you’re hungry we put your chupie in your mouth to hold you over for a minute and your face wrinkles into a look of utter disgust as if to say, “Are you kidding me?” I’m sorry if I find it absolutely adorable. When you finish eating you do like having your chupie, though, and when it falls out of your mouth you grab it and try so hard to put it back in. Sometimes you’re successful, and even if it’s by accident, I feel so proud of you. You absolutely love bath time, but hate when it’s time to get out of the water. I try to wrap you up in a towel as soon as possible to keep you from getting cold, but you always cry for a few minutes when I take you out of the warm tub. Another thing you dislike is getting dressed. You get so frustrated when I pull your tiny onesies over your head and your little arms through the arm holes. Most of the time I just leave you in a diaper anyway, though, because the days are pretty warm here in Hawaii. Sometimes you just want to be held and I absolutely love that. Some people will say I’m spoiling you by picking you up all the time but I don’t care. There’s nothing wrong with just wanting to be held by your mommy and I hope you never lose that. When I’m doing things around the house, I put you in your wrap so you can ride along with me instead of lying in your nap nanny or swing all day. You’re so content when you’re in there. You used to just fall asleep immediately but now you look around at the things that I’m doing. I don’t know how you manage to hold your tiny head up for so long, and sometimes I try to rest it against my chest so that you don’t strain yourself, but you pick it right back up and keep looking around. You’re already getting so strong. I try to give you tummy time on your little baby gym but you always manage to roll over onto your back after a minute or so.
I think you’ve seen quite a bit more than most babies your age. At three days old, you visited the beach for the first time, just like I did when I was a baby. You’ve been back many times since then, and you seem to absolutely love it. The sounds of the waves put you into the most peaceful sleeps you ever get. You never complain about anything one bit when you’re there. At four days old you went on your first boat ride in Kaneohe Bay. You’ve already been all over North Shore and down the Windward Side of the island to Crouching Lion, Chinaman’s Hat, Mokapu, and Blowholes. You’ve been to the mall with us and out to eat at lots of restaurants. Last weekend you went to your first barbecue, and everyone was amazed at how you slept right through the noise and music. You are always so well-behaved, I love that we can take you everywhere with us.
Lately I’ve been trying to steal smiles and giggles from you. You’ve been giving them to me a lot more, too. The first time I ever got you to smile other than in your sleep is when I sang you “Angel” by Jack Johnson. I had sung it to you before, but that was the first time it made you smile. Now it’s my favorite song to sing to you. You’ve also been smiling when I give you a million kisses in a row. Every now and then you make these squealing or heavy breathing noises like you’re trying to laugh. It’s the most beautiful sound that I’ve ever heard.
And you’re the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen. You’ve got the most angelic little face and that’s why I thought “Angel” was the most perfect song to sing to you. I smile every time I catch a glimpse of it. You have chubby little thighs and a little round belly that I just want to kiss all the time. I can never give you enough kisses. You’re growing bigger every day and you’re starting to fit into your size 0-3 onesies. I’m so happy that you’re becoming a healthy baby and I’m so excited to watch you grow up, it’s just kind of crazy how fast it happens. I think every single parent I know has warned me about this, but I guess there’s just no way to really brace yourself for it.
Baby Eva, you have brought me enough joy in the past month to last a lifetime, and I still have so much to look forward to. I feel so blessed to have such a precious little gift. I really don’t know what I did to deserve it. Thank you so much for the last month and thank you for being my sweet little baby.
Month 1 Milestones:
0 Days Old – Met Grandma Portia
1 Day Old – Came Home from the Hospital
3 Days Old – First Beach Day
4 Days Old – First Boat Ride
5 Days Old – First North Shore Day
11 Days Old – Lost Umbilical Cord
12 Days Old – First Bath
15 Days Old – First long walk around base with Mama
17 Days Old – First walk around our neighborhood in the Moby Wrap
28 Days Old – First Barbeque
29 Days Old – First Easter