Where did my sleepy little newborn go? You’re pretty much a baby now, and that’s both exhilarating and heartbreaking for me. I look forward to the days that I can play dress up with you and paint your toenails, but I wish that when I get there there would be a way for me to return to your newborn days, maybe just for an hour or two. I know I’ll miss your adorable face and all the silly noises that you make. I’ll miss when you fall asleep on my chest. You’re doing it less and less these days, so I cherish every second of it. Now you just want to play all the time.
Whenever you “talk” I feel like I can tell what you are saying just by your facial expressions. Every now and then I catch you making one that I know I make when I speak. You have a little attitude sometimes (hmm… I wonder where you get that from…). As hilarious as it is now, I’m predicting you’ll be a handful when you can actually say words. You are already quite the chatterbox. Sometimes you’ll be in the middle of eating and you’ll want to stop and tell a story before you finish. You still sleep with us, and sometimes, just when we think you’re fast asleep, you’ll start randomly having a conversation with yourself. I have to hold my laughter so that you think we’re sleeping and go to sleep yourself.
You also have the saddest pouty face I’ve ever seen. Seriously, I don’t think the best actor in the world could mimic it. It only shows up when you are really, truly upset- like when we take you out of the bath. The corners of your lips push down towards your chin and you look up at us with tears welling in your eyes before you let out a cry. You might as well pierce a knife through my heart. I have a feeling you’re going to get away with too much with that little face. Of course I can always make it go away by giving you a bunch of kisses and singing you a song. You love singing and dancing and music. You have a perma-smile when we have jam out sessions. I love your silly gummy smile, especially when your little tongue is poking out.
This month you have really become interested in looking in the mirror and at photographs. I love watching your little eyes staring in wonder. When I’m uploading pictures on my computer you sit right next to me with your eyes glued to the screen. You just have to be in the sitting position these days. Whenever you’re lying on your back awake you try so hard to scrunch up and sit up. You can usually do it if you are already at an incline (like on your boppy), but you aren’t very steady and you topple over if you don’t have any support. You love standing up the most. You whine for me to hold you up on your feet, which is why we got that jumper for you. I put you in it and sit right next to you while I study for the Bar Exam. You pretty much want to stay in there until you can barely keep your eyes open from exhaustion. That and your bath. We took the newborn sling thing out of it and you have so much room to splash around. You get a little rhythm going and laugh and squeal in delight. I love how excited you get over everything. And how you start babbling when you get excited. You’ve started experimenting with your vocal chords and sometimes you scream just to hear yourself do it.
You have also started playing with your toys this month. We sit you in your high chair with a few toys on your tray and you pick them up, look at them for a while, put them in your mouth, wave them around for a bit, and then throw them. It’s crazy how such a simple thing can be so amazing for me to watch. I always find myself saying to you, “Remember when you were in my belly? It wasn’t that long ago.” And it really wasn’t. It’s phenomenal how much you have changed in just three months. I still can’t believe you’re mine.
Evita Pilar, every day with you is truly a gift. Thank you for being my sweet little baby.