Meet Evil Giraffe. He was a present given to Evita on her first birthday- quite possibly the best present anyone has ever given her. Why? Because she’s scared sh*tless of him. Here’s a short demonstration:
For the past month, we’ve been placing Evil Giraffe anywhere we don’t want Eva to go. Evil Giraffe can be found in drawers that haven’t been childproofed yet, in doorframes leading to forbidden rooms, and in front of power outlets that cannot go unused. Evil Giraffe is better than any traditional childproofing measures. After an extensive search of Amazon, I could not find anything that would prevent Eva from climbing our coffee table. I thought about putting upside-down tape on the coffee table, like I do to train the cats to say off the counter, but unlike cats, Eva loves tape. Evil Giraffe found his way to our home just in time to prevent a serious accident.
Sometimes I feel like an evil parent for allowing Evil Giraffe to scare the living daylight out of my precious baby. Other times it makes me laugh so hard my belly hurts. Maybe I am an evil parent. All I know is, I don’t know what I’m going to do when Eva overcomes her fear of Evil Giraffe.